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Boobs, bras, and… bugger.

I want to talk about breasts. Boobs. Knockers. Tits. Mammaries. ‘The Girls’. Or, as I call mine, ‘The Boobs of Doom’.

I developed early and I always had large breasts; even when I was a thin(ish) teen I overshadowed pretty much every adult woman I knew. Back then bra shopping was almost impossible as I was apparently the only New Zealand female with large breasts. Oh, I could find plenty of bras in my chest/band size, but there was little to be found in my cup size which fluctuated from a D to a DD. Even when I was starving myself my boobs never dropped below a D cup. I was relegated to soft cups in beige with the occasional white one thrown in for good measure. Nothing pretty, nothing too uplifting (because big boobs don’t need it??) and nothing that made me feel good. I spent my whole adolescence being ashamed and embarrased about the balloons upon my chest.

Then I grew up a bit, stopped starving myself and arrived at Binge Eating Disorder via a brief stint in Bulemia-land. I gained a lot of weight, a boyfriend, and some sexual confidence. I stopped being unhappy about my rack and instead began to dress to show a bit of cleavage – hell, why not? You’ve got it, let’s flaunt it, right? Bras were still hard to find – not as much as before, and pretty ones were still unavailable – and I went up both by a cup size and several clothing sizes.

And then life became difficult once more.

Now I find there is a much wider selection out there, as far as cup sizes go – all the way up to a G or even an H, if you know where to shop. But at the same time there has been (or perhaps there has always been?) a huge lack of bras for large chest/band measurements. In New Zealand at the moment I can only think of 2 shops that stock my size bras. One of those has now just removed lingerie from their brick-and-mortar stores (it’ll be available online only) and the other… well, let’s talk about my afternoon excursion there today.

I had driven ages across town to find out that the first store was now only offering bras online, so I jumped back in the car to drive even further to the second shop. I was in a hurry (kids and Man Of The House home alone, who knows what I might come back to!) and my final bra – as in the only one I own – had parted company with it’s underwire and was making driving uncomfortable. So I pull up to the mall and race to the second shop with only 30 minutes to go before closing. I scan the appropriate racks (heh) and find… nothing. That is, nothing for me. There’s everything else from 10G to 18F but nothing bigger. And I need a 24E at least.

With the time constraint in mind I decide to ignore my embarrasment and approach the sales girls (yes, they were all young girls) who have flocked behind the counter for a natter and a giggle. I try to make a joke of it, and ask if they “stock any bigger band sizes”. They stare at me as though I had two heads and one offers that they have “Only one, one type only, out the back – but it’s not included in the sale!” I tell her I don’t care, I just need a bra – another quip that falls flat as she scuttles out the back and grabs a black bra which she dangles at me. “That ok?” she asks, and I resist the urge to tell her what I really  think. “Fine” I say, and 5 minutes later (after purchasing the offending bra under the solemn stares and held-in giggles of the rest of the sales staff, who are still hanging on and around the counter) I leave, with my new, expensive, over shoulder boulder holder. And a whole lotta angry.

I’ve gotta give myself a pat on the back, though – there was a time when this kind of experience would have sent me to the nearest McDonalds for a huge binge. Not today, although I did buy a Coke for the looong drive home (rush hour traffic, what a wonderful misnomer!) But really – who decided that big girls don’t need bras? Do you *really* want me to walk around with my girls around my knees? Honestly I can’t be the only big-boobed woman out there.

So where the hell are my bras???


One Response

  1. […] Posted on July 12, 2009 by tanz33 Remember my post about bras and bra shopping? (Read it here). Well, seeing as the one bra I managed to scrounge up was horribly uncomfortable and gave me […]

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